I’m a product of a culture that tells me #1) A woman’s body shouldn’t be objectified and #2) A woman’s body should be objectified. We yell at our men for looking at us inappropriately and then dress in such a way as to sell, food, cars, clothes, you name it, with it #3) I ought to love/celebrate/enjoy my body just as it is… #4) I ought to ridicule the overweight or too skinny #4) I ought to dress professionally to command respect #5) I should be able to show my bra, midriff, thigh if I want, wherever I want and shame the man who looks.
No one wins. Men lose whether they look, keep their eyes down or “bounce” them. Ladies lose whether they dress modestly, professionally, sexy or trashy. I lost. I hated this thing I had to move around in.
Then I started working out. All of a sudden my body wasn’t a thing to look at it was a thing to do stuff with. Run, lift, climb, squat, jump... My body became the best, most wonderful tool I’ve ever known. I didn’t care what it looked like but I was amazed at what it could do!
I am a sensuous single woman looking to not be single long. I expect my body to be one of the first things noticed. I hope it’s appreciated. For me, there are a couple physical features I am supremely attracted to. I will notice big arms no matter how a man is dressed. They’re my thing; my eyes notice them. A man doesn’t have to do anything, dress any way, move at all for me to see them. It’s just how it is. I would never choose a man solely based on physical features BUT I would like to be with a man that turns me on. I do not resent or hold it against men that there are features about the feminine form that are attractive to them and that their eyes just see. If it’s natural to me, I can only assume how much it happens to them.
I like to feel pretty. It’s overwhelming to hear nice things about how I look, but yes, I like it! It’s quite nice to know people think I’m pretty and that my look can turn a head. A big part of sexuality comes from how we move and carry ourselves within our bodies. Whether it’s right or wrong, I want to be pleasing to the eyes. But I don’t want to be “that” lady…
Here’s where it gets tricky. I am proud of my body, God gave it to me and for the first time in my life I’m exploring and appreciating it for what it can do not how it looks. I have hidden my body because I was ashamed of it; because I didn’t take care of it and I wanted to minimize the “bad parts” or because I didn’t want “bad guys” to see it and take advantage of me.
I want to dress and carry myself in such a way as to say, I am a good steward of the body God has given me… feel free to observe, but don’t be rude. I don’t want anything so low my nipples say hello, or high my vagina can carry on a conversation because, I think, that gives an impression that my body is my only asset (but even if I did wear something like that it’s no reason to be used or abused). I think dressing “like that” gives a negative impression and invites a lower quality of men to notice, and touches the more depraved parts of all minds.
I want to be recognized as fit/classy/beautiful, I want to be able to dress in such a way as to feel comfortable working out in the gym or professional at the office or beautiful for a night out on the town and not have to stress that MY choice in attire might lead a man to lust or assault me. But then again, I want to be noticed for my beauty. Yes, I want to honor God and men and not be a source of unnecessary temptation but He’s the one who gave me this body and part of the reason it looks the way it does is because I made an intentional choice to take better care of it.
So, I love my body, I am not ashamed of it, I dress mindfully, to keep myself safe from monsters, to keep from provoking depraved or negative thoughts in good people and to look as beautiful as I modestly can to honor the one and only material thing God has guaranteed me on this earth.