Blog Archives - Lucy H. Delaney

40 days to 40 years and the body that’ll get me there…

8/25/2017

Nine years ago I made a promise to a dying man. Maybe he didn’t hear me, and maybe he didn’t ask me to but I promised my Gramps I would take care of myself as best as I could so I could be around for my family as long as possible.

Gramps had a good life… but seventy-eight was too soon to go. Too many people loved him, too many great-grandkids never got to sit at his knee and hear Rudyard Kipling’s story of the Elephant’s Child. My Gramps loved others well, but didn’t love himself enough to keep himself around longer. He struggled with his weight through mid-life and had the heart attacks to prove his health and nutritional choices had weakened his body as he entered his Golden Years.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be as loved as you, but I’ll do my part to be around as long as I can for the people who do love me.”

That’s the promise I made. Up to that point I did what I wanted with my body, physically, sexually and nutritionally. To avoid pain and seek pleasure, I always took the easy way, and like a butterfly helped out of my cocoon, my body, sheltered from pain and difficulty with drugs and sexual experiences when I was younger, and food and laziness after I became a Christian, was withered (or in my case bloated) and pitiful.

And then he died and I promised and started walking, then running, then moving and making my body strong.

My body

This wondrous thing of power and beauty… this “jar of clay” as unique as the soul God filled it with…

is about to turn forty!

Nearly five years ago I started a fitness journey to see what my body could do. No supplements, no wraps, no diets (except eating sensibly), no surgeries, just me and the body God put the rest of me in.

Let me tell you my body is amazing! I am stronger than I thought I could ever be. I can do things I never imagined I could do because my core, arms and legs are trained to move. I keep meeting goals and doing more … and yet…

While I love my body, I’m not as fast as I could be, I’m not able to do some of the things I want to do (or think I could do if I trained a little harder), I’m no match for the strength of a man, and because of the damage I did in my youth, and the fact that I am aging, I can’t say that I’ll ever be fully satisfied with my shape or size.

And so all this work and all this hooey about how it’s all to honor a promise and make myself healthier comes down to a sad vain truth. Yes, I want to be healthy, but I want a beautiful body… because it looks pretty.

This frustrates me because I feel like I should be proud of my body… and I am to an extent. Like in other areas of my life, I made mistakes with my body when I was younger, I misused it, misfed it and down right disrespected it for years. I’ve spent most of the last decade getting healthy and fit but I still want to look better.

Shouldn’t I be satisfied? Why do I want to look even better, be even stronger, and shape my body and achieve physical milestones while there’s still time?

I want a flatter, tighter stomach…
I want to jump two tractor tires…
I want to climb the peg board thingy…
Why do I want more?
It’s not just because I like to challenge myself and want to see if I can fix the damage I did... it’s also because I want others to see the proof of my hard work.

I want my husband to enjoy the body I have. I want others to respect the work I’ve done. I wish I was a better advertisement for how gettin’ it at the gym can “fix you.” I want to be attractive in the eyes of others as much as my own.

But the damage is too much to overcome without help. I’ve tried hard, so hard, these last five years to build and shape my body by myself and now I’m out of time. That 5 year “After” picture is about to be taken. What will my effort prove? Will it be enough to garner respect or will I hear, “You work out like you do and your stomach still looks like that and you still have cellulite, and you have the nerve to post a picture like that and call it an after picture? Ewww!” I’m afraid I’ll to lose respect because I didn’t get flat abs or irradiate my cellulite. I’m ashamed of dimples and veins everyone will see… but when has being afraid ever stopped me before?

But… I have forty days to make one last final push. And I will fight for the best “After” picture I can take. I hope my effort, though not enough to “fix” my past or stop me from aging is at least enough to keep me healthy and maybe, possibly inspirational enough to encourage other cocooned butterflies to fight the good fight so they can fly!

I'm back and YOU are oh so wanted!

8/9/2017

How is it possible that it's been over two months since my last post? Ohhhhh yeah, I went and fell in love and got married and honeymooned and am all caught up in being a newlywed! That's right! Well, while the newlywedding and tomfoolery will continue, it's time to get back in the swing of writing and blogging.
Obviously things will move in a new direction, since the sorrows and joys of single life can only be replayed and no longer lived in real time. To start things off, let's talk about being wanted, and being a positive influence in someone's life. YOU are wanted and YOU have what it takes to be an integral part in someone's life.
The CASA program is currently recruiting for their fall training session and to help support the cause and maybe inspire YOU to action, they'll be doing a series of interviews on current CASAs. First up... you guessed it, yours truly! Here's my article AND if you'd like more information here's their number: 509-662-7350

Meet Our Volunteers. . . Danielle Worley

1) What made you want to be a CASA?
I was abused as a child and made devastating choices because of it. Despite the abuse there were also good people who watched out for me as best as they could. I became a Christian in 1999 and got clean from drugs and embraced a new life. Mentors, both men and women, helped me be a better mom than I could have been without their guidance. One in particular, a lady named Diane McCutchen, told me to “pay it forward” when I was healthy and healed. After about 10 years of learning how to be a functional member of society and trying to be a good mom, I decided to become a foster parent. Our family ended up adopting one as our own, but fostering wasn’t the best fit for our family so I looked for other ways to help keep kids safe. I heard about CASA from a Dr. Phil episode and signed up for the spring 2012 training and have been a CASA ever since.
2) What has been the most rewarding thing about being a CASA?
There are so many great things about being a CASA and advocating for kids and encouraging parents and foster parents but, hands down, the most rewarding thing about being a CASA has been the relationship I’ve developed with one of the young ladies I am a CASA for. I’ve been on her case for several years now and have watched her grow from a confused and hurting teenager into a functional, well mannered young woman. I get to see her learn to parent her child in a safer, healthier way than her mom was able to parent her and it is pure joy to have her call and text me, not just because of something on her case but because she appreciates my presence in her life.
3) Why do you think CASAs are important?
I think it is more important that we realize for children to have a stable person in their lives. These kids are taken from traumatic situations and land in homes with rules they’ve never known. They’re dealing with the affects of being abused, neglected and uprooted. Everything is uncertain and scary and they have to try to manage life with limited experience or skills. They need a steady adult to help them navigate. In my daughter’s situation, her Guardian ad Litem was the ONLY consistent adult in her case. Social Workers, foster parents, attorneys changed but her GaL remained. He drove hours to see her when we moved and came to her graduation to celebrate her accomplishment. The consistency of a solid, functional, involved adult is so healthy and healing for a child. Also, it’s important for children to have someone stand in front of the commissioner on their behalf with an honest, informed opinion on what is truly best. Attorneys advocate for what the client wants, not necessarily what’s best. Social Workers are bound to work within the rules and restrictions of the law, which, again, isn’t always in the best interest of the child. A CASA can tell the court what would actually be in the best interest of the child.
4) What’s one thing, in your work as a CASA, that you are proud of accomplishing?
I’m most proud of continuing on as a CASA for over 5 years. I work full-time and have a busy life so it’s sometimes difficult and stressful to fit it all in but I know that I am making a difference! I am a safe, steady person she can communicate with. I am a guarantee in her life. I remember the adults that were there for me in my young life, it is to God’s glory and their credit that I’m able to be an advocate for a kid like I once was. Every day that I am there for her is an accomplishment I’m super proud of!
5) What was successful about a case you worked?
I worked a case where a child was returned to his parents after being in the system for about two years. I honestly didn’t think he would ever go back. The parents were heavily into drugs, both had other children in state care or that had been adopted by other people. They didn’t even attend the provided visitations with their child. It seemed like it was hopeless. They were notified that the court was going to terminate their rights to this child as well and for some reason, God only knows, something clicked. They got clean together, went to meetings together, got into drug-free housing, took parenting classes and did what it took to get him back. The child was in a very nice relative placement, and had bonded with the family and home and in some ways it was difficult to see a little child “taken” from a safe home to go back to his parents. But they had tried so hard and were so invested and interested in doing right that it was hard to be too sad. I was happy for them all. And in this situation, since it was family, the child could still regularly see the other family members. About a year later, I saw the dad, child and family members that had provided a safe home for so long together at a family fun run. They were all enjoying their family and a safe, healthy family event. It was proof to me that some parents can and will “pull it together” for their kids, and so heart-warming.
6) What would you say to anyone considering becoming a CASA?
It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it… for the kids and for you. If you’ve ever considered, I encourage you to take the training and take one case. It’ll be overwhelming at times but if all of us who are steady and stable can be there for just one child in a traumatic and chaotic situation we can change the future one child at a time. If I can find time to do this, anyone can. Please be a hero for a child!

For more information call: 509-662-7350 OR click there to visit their website: cdcasa.org