The greatest love story of my life started with a sunset and an invitation and a paradigm shift. It seemed insignificant at the time but now, it’s one of my most beautiful, treasured recollections. I’m drawn to beauty; in shape, in form, in color, texture, taste, smell and sound. Beauty arrests me. Even though I’m a mover and a shaker, when beauty strikes, even for milliseconds, I can catch it and hold it and remember it, reflect on it, recollect how it made me marvel in a moment.
That sunset was beautiful. That sunset seduced me and changed my life.
In that moment any doubt I had was gone. I knew… there was more.
He knocked. I didn’t let Him in, I simply, offhandedly acknowledged Presence. That day, from then to now is my love story. No one who knows me now seems to be able to understand how I could have been so different. But, I know what I was. I know the choices I made, the hurt and hate and brokenness inside me that I also perpetrated onto others. No one could help, though many tried. I was hopeless, helpless, and lifeless, on a crash course for ruining my life and taking precious cargo with me.
And still He knocked. Patient, persistent, passionate, pursuit. Day after day, week after week, month after month, opening my eyes to His wondrous deeds, mostly in the beauty of creation but also in His word and true followers. I fell in love, awestruck, heart-beating faster, "He loves ME" kind of love! Me? Me! When you feel gross, when you hate yourself and Someone noble, and good and honest loves you... it changes you, or at least, Love changed me.
He knocked. The pipe was in my hand, I considered my ways. I turned my steps toward him. I put the pipe down and opened the door… That’s my miracle, but really it’s more like a metamorphosis than a miracle, unless you consider slow, gradual change from a baser life to a better one miraculous.
That’s my story. That’s the life I laid down and this is the new life I live!
Like a guest into my home, and a lover into my heart, I let Christ into every part of my life. Like a Master craftsman, Mr. fix-it, house cleaner, and interior decorator all in one mighty saving package of grace and forgiveness, I’m letting Him work me over. Not because of fear or obligation but because of love and honor. God loves me, I love God. I want to honor Him because I love him.
The thing is His love cleans me, heals me, refreshes and renews me. I am better for myself, my family, my friends and my community because I want to show His kind of character and love to others. It is not always easy but it is never oppressive, restrictive or demeaning. Drugs were oppressive. Addiction was restrictive. Hate, greed, envy were demeaning. His ways are good!
Even this lonely, little, life I live; as silly and insignificant in the grand scheme of things as it is… it’s such a good life! I love it! I traded chains for freedom, mire for mountains, oppression for goals, love for Love, Life for life. He loves me and gave me a new life so I give Him all of mine. And nothing and no one can separate me from His love!
He says: “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” – Revelation 3:20
If ever you want to talk about my story, or God, find me and ask! I’m happy to listen and share!