So, I'm doing the online thing and THIS happened today... (full disclosure this guy and I have been talking for about two weeks, pretty superficial but nice enough... and then this!!! I cannot believe his nerve!) Just needed to share my rant!
... they say a picture's worth a thousand words, well he got NO picture but he did get nearly 1,000 words. THE NERVE!!!!
He says: "All women can clean, do laundry and have sex. What else do you offer your man??? Also its very rare not to test drive a car before you buy it, no sex before marriage. Do you plan on getting married within a month or max of two, or do you want to wait a few years before getting marriage? What about oral sex are you willing to do that daily while waiting for marriage?"
OK here's the deal buddy... I'll be direct and to the point then fill in the details. The short of it is this... nope, I'm not having sex of any kind, and I'm not sorry about it. I place a high value on my body, I've worked hard for it, I'm proud of it and it's mine! It's actually the one and only thing in this world that is mine! I don't do test drives, and am trying really hard not to be pissed that you think that's a reasonable request. I'm not a car! I am a human being, a body, a mind, a soul and spirit. I have thoughts, feelings and needs, I am a person to be valued and appreciated not a thing to 'test drive' on a whim to see if you prefer an Italian interior to an German one!
Here's the rest if you want it, but you have every right to move on. Probably I should but YOU pushed my buttons! So I vent with words, here goes...
Unlike you, I am not looking for a relationship at this time in my life ... I'm looking to meet good guys and do fun stuff. My profile sums it up.
It would be unbecoming of a woman (or man) of dignity and character to hook up, sexually, even orally, (thanks for making that distinction), with multiple partners when they know full well they're not looking to get serious at this time in life. For me a sexual relationship will come from knowing a man and being well known by him in mind, soul and spirit first. I am of the opinion that God's allowed for a little physical fun to see if there's chemistry but the sexual pleasures will be left for the man who has proven he's into all 4 dimensions of my being not just getting in my pants.
What else do I have to offer?! Here's what I have to offer to "my man"... not that I'm in any hurry to find him only to measure the character and metal of men right now. All of this is a future projection... I'm not there yet. I'm just answering your other question, which is actually a respectable one imho!
I'm a pretty cool chick. I'm not ugly, not a trophy wife, but certainly not one any man would be ashamed of. I'm fun, I'm smart, I'm really fit, I'm unique, quirky and full of spunk! I'll for sure keep my man guessing... and probably make him feel good about himself and that I'm his woman a few times a day. Oh and he will smile and shake his head in bewildered amusement a few times a day too. When the time is right, I can captivate and hold an audience with my wit and stories but I know when to hang back and let others take their time to shine. I can be the biggest cheerleader for a man (or anyone or anything) I believe in. I am proud of my people and I make sure my world and sphere of influence knows how awesome my people are.
Respect and honor are huge deals to me, so I will give my man utmost respect and honor, because he will be worthy of it. I will partner with him to achieve the goals and desires he has set for his life.
I'm a woman of strength and independence that will have no problem with my man doing his thing which gives me my time to do mine. Then when we come together it'll be all the better, yeah? But, with that said, family, faith and fitness are hugely important to me and I'll eventually partner with a man that I can share the same faith and at least some sort of fitness routines with (WODs, hikes, runs, yoga).
Domestically speaking, that's already summed up, house work, yes, I keep a clean house but would be pissed if someone expected me to be a maid and left messes. I'm a hiker, the whole "leave no trace" thing... goes for home too. I like a clean house for myself and will always maintain one. "My man" can enjoy my preference for order and cleanliness.
And if we're going to talk about sex, what I will say is this is the first time in my life I haven't lead with it. It is, admittedly, a novel concept for me, but one I am 100% positive I'm sticking with, I have a high value in myself and more than that, I trust that God wanted it that way for good reason. With that said I have a very high libido. I'm excited to partner with a man who is capable, adventurous, uninhibited and well skilled in and out of the bedroom. And yes, I believe open and honest communication before sex is had, says a lot about a person's sexual appetites, preferences and performance. I am mindful now, in this time of abstinence, to not get myself off in anyway that a man can't compete with because I want my man to be my primary source of sexual pleasure.
And as for the marriage part... right now I'm getting to know character, quality, and substance and I'm fooling around a little, tiny bit. When it's time, and it's not time yet... but when it is, no, it won't be 'a few years' I imagine it'll be pretty quick, because we will have already established an intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection, compatibility by then shouldn't be a question to either of us.
So... if you're still reading, I'm sure you'll have your two cents to shoot back my way... Do share!
8/10/2016 09:12:46 am
Love this! He's likely speechless. You are an amazing example for others. This was a great read and I'll be taking some good info from it. I'm learning, at age 37, who I really am and what I expect from a partner. Wish I would have done that a long time ago! Thanks for the post:)
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