 When Katie and Jonathan Biron decided to grow their family through adoption, Katie had no idea the choice would catalyze her to create children’s books and even change Washington State law. The couple chose to adopt through Amara, an agency that required adoptive parents to first become licensed foster parents. They went through the motions but didn’t take any foster children, staying the course to adopt. They were matched with a mom about to give birth and the meeting with her changed the direction of their family journey forever. Up until then, Katie saw adoption as a joyful event. The moment the baby’s birth mom placed the baby in Katie’s arms, she realized her greatest joy was someone else’s greatest sorrow. The birth mom wished desperately her own mother, who was not well, could see the baby girl before she went home with the Biron’s. Katie and Jonathan reached into their humanity. Instead of sticking to the rigid rules of adoption, they offered to bring the baby, Emma, to her biological grandma. That’s when Katie knew the traditional adoption trail was not for their family. She and Jonathan bravely tip-toed into an exploration of a different kind of open adoption. They found a far more pleasing path. While building a relationship with adoption at the center wasn’t always easy, Katie knew deep in her heart that she was doing the right thing for Emma. Her way ensured there was space for all of the important adults in Emma’s life. A pediatric nurse by trade, Katie later regretted never fostering kids, especially when there was huge need for homes for medically fragile children. The Biron’s decided to get relicensed and care for kids with special needs. All of the events; the meeting with Emma’s birth mom, the relicensing, their experience within the system, evolved their ideas about what adoption and foster care could look like. Maybe it’s wasn’t about “us” and “them.” Maybe instead of an adversarial relationship, parents and caregivers like the Biron’s could build a collaborative, child-centered relationship. With this belief, Katie began to facilitate visits for the family of the baby placed in their home. Katie’s first experience with an open visit was for a medically fragile newborn. He hadn’t visited his biological family for over three weeks. The social worker hadn’t yet scheduled any visits. Believing in her heart he needed to see his mom, and vice versa, Katie gathered her gusto, and with all her children in tow, facilitated a visit with his family at a Starbucks in Target. Slowly Katie and the baby’s family built a relationship. Eventually a decision was made that the Biron’s would adopt the baby. His would be an open adoption that welcomed his family, including his mother, into their own. They now enjoy a blended family partnership and Katie’s son has the benefits of both families in his life. Katie was convinced the traditional version and view of adoption wasn’t the best plan. She felt strongly there had to be an alternative. When she couldn’t find anything, she created it. Out of their family’s experience with two non-traditional adoptions, the Family Connections ProgramTM was born. The program utilizes the expertise of parents with lived experience navigating the child welfare system. These individuals help mentor parents whose children are currently placed in out of home care and those caring for the children to build and sustain child-centered relationships. Political activism crept in quickly after that. Katie started talking to legislators about a better way to “do” shared parenting for children in foster care. The Family Connections Program bill had great bipartisan support and was signed into law in 2020. It was fully funded and then… COVID. Due to the state’s emergency, the Governor vetoed necessary funding. This left DCYF (The Department of Children, Youth and Families) with a mandate to provide the Family Connection Program but without money to facilitate it. Katie mourned the developments, then dried her tears and worked with Amara to seek alternative funding sources to keep the program alive. In 2021 the pilot program was again funded by the legislature and became a permanent state program in 2022. Like the bill, Katie’s book, The Love Tree, was born out of her family’s non-traditional adoption story. A seemingly simple school assignment required her child to create a family tree. Their family made their tree tricky. Katie wanted a way for all the important people in a child’s life to be represented. Out of that grew the Love Tree, an endearing story revisioning the family tree. Katie enjoys sharing her book and family story with schools and in classrooms. It is always fun for her to see who makes it onto kids’ love trees. In addition to The Love Tree, Katie has plans for more children’s books. Her next book, the first in a series, will help parents talk to kids about Substance Use Disorders. She has plans for a story about attachment styles and how children grow bonds. She dreams of books that touch on really tough topics like why some people are unhoused. It’s already out there for kids to bump into and she intends to give parents safe tools to help tackle the sticky subjects. Katie has done much in the last decade and has more in store. Ten years ago adoption seemed like such a simple path, it will be interesting to see where another ten years of Katie’s advocacy and passion lead. Katie, thank you for keeping kids safe! For more information on non-traditional adoption options check out these great resources: Katiebiron.com – offers workshops and classes to adoption and foster agencies The First Legal Clinic – Snohomish – provided parent mentor and attorney to help make plans for baby’s care after birth so it’s not a traumatic removal Amara - has done a lot of work to change their program from just foster to adopt. They’re trying to be on the prevention end of adoption and offer services to help preserve families in crisis so they don’t have to end in adoption and if they do relationships with the biological families don’t have to be completely severed. Birth and Foster Parent Partnership – a national group with people from all different states working to build relationships between foster and biological parents so that there is continued connection and support for biological parents when kids return home. KATIE’S BOOK STATS: Last book read: I Am Watching You by Teresa Driscoll Current books: The Searcher, Tana French Her book rec: Attached. Amir Levine, MD and Rachel Heller, MA The Orphan’s Tale by Pam Jenoff
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I can't not hear Beyoncé, how about you?! OK friends, not sure how many of you are single ladies, but I’m 111% sure you all know at least one single lady. My newest book, You Are A Keeper is for her! If she is you, and you are a Christian woman currently looking for long-lasting love, you will want to read this book today! If she is your friend, you will want to give her this book before she goes out with, or turns down, yet another guy. If you or your friend aren’t necessarily of the Christian persuasion, don’t you worry, I’ve got a book for you too! UNF*CKABLE! has the same statistics and strategy without the super spiritual flavor to it. Either version is sure to entertain and provide a valuable dating strategy that will get more dates, and significantly improve chances of finding and keeping long-lasting love. Snag it today! (Prices will go up after the holidays!) The goal was to publish two new books this year. Y'all... I SMASHED that goal! (Assuming this book is officially published by 12/31 that is). It's down to nothing but production minutia now. Production and all that self-doubt that hits me every time I get "here" and wonder what it's all for. It's not for me, but then again, I honestly want to make my living writing, so it kind of is, isn't it? Hobby, passion, calling, failing business... I can't ever decide what exactly it is. I hope you know that they're for you, these words I write. You know that right?! YOU matter to me. I can far more easily keep them all to myself and enjoy them in the ether between my ears just fine. I have these thoughts, feelings, ideas and stories and compulsion to share them with anyone who wants them. They are yours and for you. I get better every day and long to pour more words out for you. Thank you. If you've ever purchased a book I wrote... thank you. If you've ever read one of them... thank you! If you've taken time to leave a review for someone else... thank you!! If you've shared a book or post with someone else... THANK YOU!! If you want to click the "Buy Me A Coffee" button and throw a few bucks my way... THANK YOU!!! If you actually do it... YOU'RE THE BEST! For all my musings give my Patreon a try, because I'm going to try to put them there...  I posted on social media recently about dreams, goals and visions. It read something to the effect of “If a dream causes more stress and tension than joy, it might be a nightmare. You better reality check yourself.” It came after a personal reality check. My dream was too big. I needed to let it go, and I thought I did, but yet I still hope... I am a self professed idealist. I dream BIG dreams. I know no other way. I’m not Pollyanna and assure you I have bad days, sometimes really bad days, but for the most part I want the best and hope for the biggest and best. This, surprisingly, doesn’t always lend itself to a super optimistic outlook. BIG dreams don’t often come true, but often come with pain and growth and wiggling out of comfort zones and hard work and explaining yourself and defending your silly BIG dreams to the people around you. They’re not easy to keep because they’re so unrealistic. And yet… I dream them still. My biggest dream BIG dream is, of course, to make a healthy living off my writing. But I have another dream. It’s lived inside me for decades and as I have grown, so too has my silly little BIG dream… Want to know what it is? Read on… Ok my BIG dream is to someday own a resort where people come to rest and retreat. Yeah. I want to offer a space of refuge, a place of peace, away from the stresses of life to all who are weary. It started simple and small, after a family tent camping vacation to Flathead Lake in Montana. My children were elementary school aged, so this was about twenty years ago. The campground hosts were a lovely retired couple and I remember thinking to myself that I would like to be them one day. I wanted to keep a campground clean and tidy for the guests. I wanted to listen to them share their lives. I wanted to watch them get in the boat with their family and catch fish. Yes, I wanted to cultivate a place of rest, retreat and refuge in nature and enjoy it with others. It’s grown BIG over the years, this silly little dream of mine. As Jeremy and I grew our investment portfolio it occurred to me that I could do more than humbly host. I could own the campground and shape it into this thing I see in my mind’s eye, this place of peace. I upgraded my dream. It grew BIGGER to the point of impossibility. There’s no way I’ll ever get it… but then again, maybe, just maybe I will. A place popped up. Most of the boxes in my dream resort were checked. I was enchanted. It was high priced. Practically out of our possible price range. Completely impossible. I know this. I know there is no way and yet I dared to dream. I had my handsome Realtor husband show me the grounds. I wanted it. I probably even prayed for it before the harsh “no way, no hows” of reality snatched the silly dream out of my hand and threw it to the ground. It shattered into a million little shards of sure not gonna happen. No way. Or maybe just “not yet” and herein lies my sliver of hope... What’s more, therein all that fanciful BIG ridiculous dreaming a revelation rose from the ashes. My BIG dream is only possible because there’s enough possibility from where I stand now to make it a dream to even hope for. We ARE real estate investors. We DO operate an obscure Okay Oasis that welcomes guests to rest and retreat. We MIGHT have the capital to make a deal work, if not this deal then another deal. I HAVEN’T always been this way. There HAVE been times in my life where a dream like this would truly be unrealistic, not just impossible. The same realities that smashed the dream stirred up a song in my soul that humbled me to my core… “Who am I?”… Who am I that I dare to dream this dream? “Who am I that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love and watch me rise again?” Who am I that I have the nerve to dream this dream? I am a methamphetamine addict with a less than 5% chance of ever staying clean. And here I stand 24 years later clean by the grace of God. Who am I that dreams this dream? I am the batty, bruised up lady talking, okay, okay screaming irrationally to herself as she stumbles down the side of the road. Now unmedicated save for the workouts to keep my endorphins and serotonin levels healthy for several decades. Who am I that dreams this dream? A college drop-out with nothing but a two-year community college degree that took five years to earn. Who am I to dream this dream? Who am I? I am her. And yet I am here. And yes I do dare to dream my BIG dreams! I am a child of the most high God. I am redeemed from a pit of addiction, self-hatred, mental-illness and uneducatedness. I am lavishly loved by me, and God (and a bouquet of my favorite souls too!). By most standards I am an epic fail as far as love and life go. I know there have been laughs behind my back about who do I think I am to dream about a writing career or owning a beautiful place to let people retreat to. I know because there have been laughs right in my face too. But still… I think I’ll keep my dream! Yeah. I’ll dream BIG because if a bum loser like me can be saved from the impossible pit I came from, a safe place by placid waters might just be possible too! Ever and always, dream BIG little one ;)   Sherry Mott, wife and mother of 4 kids, is a true hero for hurting families in our valley! I met Sherry at an event hosted by my husband’s real estate office and knew from the moment she started sharing she was a change maker. Sherry is the director of Central Washington’s chapter of Safe Families. As an advocate for abused and neglected children myself, I was intrigued to learn more about her and see what the organization is all about. As is the story of our life and times, she is super busy and I’m full to the brim so, instead of coffee or tea, we settled on an email interview. Friends, after reading her responses to my curious questions... I am super inspired to find ways to support Safe Families now!
Learn about their upcoming fundraiser dinner & silent auction here! What is Safe Families of Central Washington? In its simplest terms, Safe Families is a network of support for struggling families. Largely volunteer driven, their intention is to pull families into support. Isolation and loneliness are dangerous, especially when a family is in crisis, or near it. Many people in our world and community do not have a network of healthy relationships to fall back on when life gets overwhelming. True, there is already a “system” in place for children and families, but all too often government intervention is a last ditch effort because a child’s life is in imminent danger. The scope of what any government program or system can effectively offer is limited. Safe Families model and vision is to fill in the gaps, with connection, with resources, with family friends, coaches and churches. The goal is to “wrap-around” a struggling family and give them assistance and tools to be well and whole in all areas of their lives and families. This preventative, first-line approach can effect change and provide resources and tools before its “too late” and CPS must get involved. Some families just don’t have the knowledge or network of support to keep their children safe. Safe Families connects families that lack healthy relationships with people who are willing to be their friends, engaging them, connecting with them and championing them. Sherry says she “fell in love with what a beautiful model Safe Families is. It's people helping people, not because they are getting paid, but because they truly care and want what is best for their "neighbors." Friends can be there for each other in a way that a "system" cannot.” How Sherry got involved: Sherry learned about Safe Families 7 years ago from a friend after having been through her own "crisis" with little kids. As difficult as it was for her with a network of people who stood up to fill in the gaps when she needed help, she realized others in crisis didn’t have that same support. That support system made all the difference for her. As she reflected on her own situation and the plight she knew others face, she honestly didn’t know how families could overcome or avoid crisis without support. She continued to see the need in our valley for several years but wasn't really sure how to help. She became a licensed foster parent then volunteered with the CASA program. Many of the services offered were reactive efforts provided only after a family was beyond crisis and at the mercy of the state. Sherry wanted to do something more proactive. That’s when she found the Safe Families organization and decided to start a chapter here in Central Washington. What sorts of services does Safe Families offer? There are a multitude of services Safe Families offers, all through real, meaningful connections with others. Safe Families offers a host family service that can take in children for a time. There are family friends who are genuine friends and champions for families in crisis. There are family coaching services to help parents get back on their feet. They offer real, tangible resources to families in need. There are churches and other organizations with special training in how to really wrap-around families in crisis. It is a service and connection oriented program. A little something about the upcoming fundraising night On Saturday, September 9th Safe Families will host a fundraising dinner and silent auction to raise funds for the local chapter. Funds go to support the volunteer work being done in our local valley. Safe Families hopes to raise $20,000 in financial support through the dinner. Get your tickets here! What kind of time commitment does Safe Families expect? How much time does the average volunteer log? Safe families works with a volunteer’s time constraints. Rest assured they find ways to get you connected and joined with circles of support whether you have an hour a day or an hour a week to volunteer. Training can be done online. The Safe Families model is to make and be friends, to build community and relationship. Sherry says, “I don’t think any of us would meet someone new that we liked and think ‘I don’t have time for another friend.’ ‘Just think of SF as adding another friend to your life.” What inspiration/encouragement do you have for others who may be interested in volunteering and how do they jump in? “When people get involved with safe families not only do they feel good about helping others but often they experience the blessings of relationship and connection themselves. We would love to get you plugged in to safe families, you can start by reaching out at [email protected] or filling out a volunteer application https://sfcms.net/apply/ make sure to select "Central WA" so your application is directed to our chapter.” SHERRY’S BOOK STATS: Last book read: To loosely quote Sherry, “leaders are readers and like many of you [reading this article] I always have 3 or 4 books at hand at any given time.” Some of her most recent reads are: Changes That Heal by Dr Henry Cloud Faithful Presence by Bill Haslam How people grow by John Townsend & Henry Cloud Currently reading: Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst ~ Sherry says that this book has helped her define who she is and is not, and has challenged her to look at what things she is and isn’t willing to let go of for the sake of healthy relationships. “Oftentimes our responses are triggered by past hurt or experiences and it can be helpful to think about these outside the emotion of the moment and have a matrix of what are the few things that you're willing to hold tightly to and what can you let go of for the sake of unity.” Her book rec: The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns, the president of World Vision. Sherry recommends it because it positively changed her perspective on what ministry is. “As I read the Bible I felt a disconnect between what I was feeling called to and what was happening in life and the lives of those around me. My theology didn't match my reality. I went to church but I was only serving the people who were already in church. What was I doing to really love my neighbor as myself and to seek the welfare of the city where I live and am raising my kids?” |
