![]() #1) Waterfalls in the middle of very urban settings are strange to "hike" and count, but I counted two of them (and tried to make the pictures look 'not so citified' to make myself feel better about the city "hunt"). #2) Sometimes nearly the whole morning, two hours drive, and gas supply are wasted on a locked steel gate even a 4WD like Guinevere can't maneuver around. #3) Clearly a sign that says, "do not cross the fence," is intended to keep people out. The admonishment that people have fallen to their death is further reason to stay behind the fence. BUT, oh, the falls on the other side were screaming to come to them! I understand why people would cross, but I stayed on the right side! #4) When Aaron, of Aaron's Waterfall World (http://aaronswaterfallworld.tripod.com/), classifies a hike as "medium" with a "bushwhacking" approach, he means it's medium... if... you're ... RAMBO!!!! Since I'm a novice hiker and do not typically carry a machete, and like to live, I went close to what I thought was the 500' to the first fall in the series, snapped a photo and left the rest for the more hearty souled hunters. #5) Sometimes you hike DOWN, waaaay down, steep down, so down you know UP is gonna suck breath, sweat and pain from you, to a Lost Lake only to find the waterfall is lost due to lack of water supply. However the lush ferny (pteridophyte) coverage, and holey sandstone rock cliffs still made for a beautiful hike in creation! #6) I have officially renamed Chuckanut Falls ... the new name shall ever more be ChuckaNOT falls, yet another two falls lost to poor water supply. Lack of water, coupled with the burn ban makes me wonder... is the Wet Side of the state actually in a drought? #7) I get hangry! I am not proud of this but it's a thing I do. I will work on minding my manners when I'm hungry. #8) Park Rangers know stuff, like where to find the "hidden" waterfalls that are the best ever! #9) Yes, waterfalls on the side of the road, if they're big enough, count in my hunt... and if I can boulder up to them, they become one of my absolute favorite waterfall finds of the summer (waterfall #45 I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!). #10) I am embarrassed to admit I learned an ugly truth about myself. When my expectations are not met, thwarted or different than others I get irritable and surly and behave in a quite unladylike fashion (Ok, ok, the truth is; sometimes, when I give up my expectations to "please" another I tend to pout like a two year old long afterward). I'm glad to have had it pointed out to me so that I can assess, address and adjust my attitude and behavior in future situations. The introspective question becomes, how do I honor and respect the wants/expectations of others while also either allowing for my own wants to be met (and not feeling like I'm demanding my way) or not being a whiney baby when I give in to their expectations? #11) The hilarity of the minor revelation that my waterfall hunts always seem to be on roads that follow rivers took me a few minutes to chew down. I'll let YOU take a few minutes to chew on it and then you can have that laugh on me, free of charge! Until the next round... Peace yo! STATS: Waterfalls found: 47, plus 4 I passed while driving with no pictures and the 3 that were not!
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So, I'm doing the online thing and THIS happened today... (full disclosure this guy and I have been talking for about two weeks, pretty superficial but nice enough... and then this!!! I cannot believe his nerve!) Just needed to share my rant!
... they say a picture's worth a thousand words, well he got NO picture but he did get nearly 1,000 words. THE NERVE!!!! He says: "All women can clean, do laundry and have sex. What else do you offer your man??? Also its very rare not to test drive a car before you buy it, no sex before marriage. Do you plan on getting married within a month or max of two, or do you want to wait a few years before getting marriage? What about oral sex are you willing to do that daily while waiting for marriage?" MY RESPONSE: OK here's the deal buddy... I'll be direct and to the point then fill in the details. The short of it is this... nope, I'm not having sex of any kind, and I'm not sorry about it. I place a high value on my body, I've worked hard for it, I'm proud of it and it's mine! It's actually the one and only thing in this world that is mine! I don't do test drives, and am trying really hard not to be pissed that you think that's a reasonable request. I'm not a car! I am a human being, a body, a mind, a soul and spirit. I have thoughts, feelings and needs, I am a person to be valued and appreciated not a thing to 'test drive' on a whim to see if you prefer an Italian interior to an German one! Here's the rest if you want it, but you have every right to move on. Probably I should but YOU pushed my buttons! So I vent with words, here goes... Unlike you, I am not looking for a relationship at this time in my life ... I'm looking to meet good guys and do fun stuff. My profile sums it up. It would be unbecoming of a woman (or man) of dignity and character to hook up, sexually, even orally, (thanks for making that distinction), with multiple partners when they know full well they're not looking to get serious at this time in life. For me a sexual relationship will come from knowing a man and being well known by him in mind, soul and spirit first. I am of the opinion that God's allowed for a little physical fun to see if there's chemistry but the sexual pleasures will be left for the man who has proven he's into all 4 dimensions of my being not just getting in my pants. What else do I have to offer?! Here's what I have to offer to "my man"... not that I'm in any hurry to find him only to measure the character and metal of men right now. All of this is a future projection... I'm not there yet. I'm just answering your other question, which is actually a respectable one imho! I'm a pretty cool chick. I'm not ugly, not a trophy wife, but certainly not one any man would be ashamed of. I'm fun, I'm smart, I'm really fit, I'm unique, quirky and full of spunk! I'll for sure keep my man guessing... and probably make him feel good about himself and that I'm his woman a few times a day. Oh and he will smile and shake his head in bewildered amusement a few times a day too. When the time is right, I can captivate and hold an audience with my wit and stories but I know when to hang back and let others take their time to shine. I can be the biggest cheerleader for a man (or anyone or anything) I believe in. I am proud of my people and I make sure my world and sphere of influence knows how awesome my people are. Respect and honor are huge deals to me, so I will give my man utmost respect and honor, because he will be worthy of it. I will partner with him to achieve the goals and desires he has set for his life. I'm a woman of strength and independence that will have no problem with my man doing his thing which gives me my time to do mine. Then when we come together it'll be all the better, yeah? But, with that said, family, faith and fitness are hugely important to me and I'll eventually partner with a man that I can share the same faith and at least some sort of fitness routines with (WODs, hikes, runs, yoga). Domestically speaking, that's already summed up, house work, yes, I keep a clean house but would be pissed if someone expected me to be a maid and left messes. I'm a hiker, the whole "leave no trace" thing... goes for home too. I like a clean house for myself and will always maintain one. "My man" can enjoy my preference for order and cleanliness. And if we're going to talk about sex, what I will say is this is the first time in my life I haven't lead with it. It is, admittedly, a novel concept for me, but one I am 100% positive I'm sticking with, I have a high value in myself and more than that, I trust that God wanted it that way for good reason. With that said I have a very high libido. I'm excited to partner with a man who is capable, adventurous, uninhibited and well skilled in and out of the bedroom. And yes, I believe open and honest communication before sex is had, says a lot about a person's sexual appetites, preferences and performance. I am mindful now, in this time of abstinence, to not get myself off in anyway that a man can't compete with because I want my man to be my primary source of sexual pleasure. And as for the marriage part... right now I'm getting to know character, quality, and substance and I'm fooling around a little, tiny bit. When it's time, and it's not time yet... but when it is, no, it won't be 'a few years' I imagine it'll be pretty quick, because we will have already established an intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection, compatibility by then shouldn't be a question to either of us. So... if you're still reading, I'm sure you'll have your two cents to shoot back my way... Do share! It’s review time! Let’s start with dating, shall we? Partly because it’ll be way more fun than my New Year’s Resolutions review (especially since that sexy truck came into my life).
Here goes the summertime dating review… What can I say? I am having fun! I enjoy getting to know good guys and doing fun stuff. I think I’ve articulated my boundaries before but I’ll restate them so y’all don’t think I’m sleeping around with a bunch of guys. I am abstinent and have set a very conservative physical boundary. I can’t say too many people understand it, but they do respect it. What I can say about the gentlemen that I’ve actually been out with is that they have all behaved quite honorably and respected my line even if they thought it was a bit much. So, to any of those guys reading this… again I say thank you! As I stated in the 90 day review in the spring, I am online dating. I have no shame in it and I think the culture is unique and amusing. I like it. I haven’t dated since high school, and that was simply horny boys in hallways, finding a guy then was super easy. I figured it would be more challenging to find someone out in the real world. Online dating makes sense, and I like that you can see a snapshot of someone at a glance. It helps reduce the time investment, and time, though I’m in no hurry, is also of the essence. Ironically three of the four gentlemen I’ve seen more than once have been real-life acquaintances first. My goal right now, in The Middle, isn’t to date exclusively (though I am not opposed to giving a man undivided time and attention), or to get serious, but instead to spend time getting to know the character and quality of good men. Obviously the end goal is a relationship, but what I’ve learned about me is, the kind of trust and respect a relationship is built on is established over time. Some people tell me I can’t expect a man be OK with me seeing a couple guys at the same time. But I can’t make sense of investing undivided time and attention into a man I’ve A) never met before in real-life or B) have only had superficial passing conversations with in real-life. Other people can do that, but that’s not part of my personality. I need to see them, hear them, smell them and, yes, touch and taste them to know them better before being willing to enter into a relationship. I’m not being sexually intimate, I’m getting to know the character and metal of men. So after eight months of dating, I’ve learned more about myself than any particular gentleman. I’ve learned that my faith is the #1 compatibility factor for me. I want, more than anything, to share my soul, my questions and my spiritual beliefs with a man who doesn't just tolerate my faith but participates in it as well. I’ve had some wonderful conversations and kisses and evenings with a few guys that I honestly wouldn’t mind spending more time with but I struggle to see a future with a man who doesn’t share my spiritual beliefs. I think it’s disrespectful of their time, no matter how much I enjoy them, to lead them on if I know our spiritual differences affect me that much. What I’m struggling with now is dating anyone, even once, who doesn’t share my spiritual beliefs because we run the risk of getting attached, which, has happened, at least for me, once. The #2 compatibility factor is their fitness level. Just like I can’t see myself with someone who isn’t of my faith, I can’t see myself with someone who doesn’t make health and fitness a priority. The funny thing is, though I've invested time hanging out and getting to know men who don't share my spiritual convictions, I haven't spent any significant time with anyone who clearly doesn't respect their body. I suppose it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t meet them but I can’t imagine a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect his body. To sum it all up: I’ve learned that chivalry isn’t dead, good men are really nice and fun and cool to hang with and while the online forum is a good way to waste time (and I mean A LOT of time) it seems the best way, at least for me, to get to know good guys and do fun stuff is to just do life and let it play out… and maybe I ought not even entertain anyone who isn’t fit or a man of faith… ![]() I am a dog run over. Life… hit me… left me for dead on the side of the road. I was crossing, simply crossing, ignorant of the dangers that lay ahead, just getting from there to here. The car hit me out of nowhere. I lay there, hurt, beyond help, alone and afraid. I whimper, I beat my tail on the pavement but I am helpless. I cannot do this. Cars go pass, most fast, some slow. I am breathing, quick, shallow, painful breaths. I am dying. I feel the life-blood oozing out of me even as I tell my paws to move, will my body to get up and run to help but.... I stagger, I stumble, I fall. I cannot. I am dying. I am a dog run over. I am helpless. The cars go by quickly, furiously, each filled with a person or persons with a place to go, a thing to do… they drive and I bleed. Helpless and alone. I am afraid. I am stuck. I am hurt. I am dying. Then he comes to save me. He sees where the blood flows from me. He tries to stop it. He touches me and I snap at him. It hurts and I am ferocious in my fear and pain! I bite. I draw his blood. He pulls back, with curses. I am wounded and he is trying to touch the pain, I do not know what else to do. I growl. His hand recoils… bloodied… and he leaves. I am alone. I am hurt. I am dying. She comes. Again I snap… she recoils, moves far off. I have frightened her away. And… again I am alone. I am hurt. I am dying. She calls Him and He comes. This Savior, this One who is not afraid. I know when I see Him that He is strong enough. His hands are covered in thick, dark, leather gloves. They are impenetrable. He sees my pain and knows how to handle me despite it. He is the Healer. He is the Counselor. He talks to me with words I cannot understand. I snap yet He is undeterred. He applies pressure firmly on the parts torn up and also to my muzzle. He is stronger than my pain (though it rips me apart), impervious to my defenses (though I struggle and fight with all the strength I have left) and carries me to the place of surgery. He holds me and heals me. It is not an easy task, I am a feisty dog… even if I am run over. It is not a quick task. It takes time to mend the injuries, to strengthen the broken bones, to stitch up what was torn open. I am unwell. I lay many days, with minimal interaction because I am afraid, because I snap, because I hurt. But He comes, touching the wounds, not to hurt but to heal, to insure they are mending. I understand this now as I could not before. He hurts me to help me. I do not bite the hand that helps me anymore. Slowly… ever so slowly I trust His face, His touch. He is kind, He is good. He means me no harm, but His hands don’t always deliver kindness. He pats my head, then removes the bandages, exposes the pain, makes sure the healing is progressing. It is not easy. It is not fun. It is pain. It is healing. In time, I look forward to his visits tough I cannot say why. I want Him, though He hurts me. His voice begins to somehow soothe me, even as His hands force joints to move that do not want to bend, pull stitches out that are stuck in place and push and press on places still raw and tender to the touch. He is a Healer and despite the pain, I long for His voice, if not His touch. Slowly, ever so slowly, like His face, I trust His voice. The words He speaks refresh me. His voice strengthens me. He gives me a name I never knew I had. And He walks with me. And He talks with me. And He tells me that I am His own. And the joy we share... as we tarry there, none other, has ever known! In time, I can smell Him before I even see Him or hear Him or feel Him. I know Him. He is mine, and I am His and... I love Him! He comes to me and my tail wags. Moving is still hard, pain is still a part of my life, but … with His patience, His wisdom, His touch, His words... I am healing! Someday, I won't flinch at His caress but lean into it. Someday, I will walk up to Him and hoist my paws onto His chest. Someday, I will be well enough to run beside Him. Someday, He will throw a stick or ball and I will run fast and free to catch what he throws out for me… But for now… all I can do is heal. I am not well but… I am safe in His care. And, I will get better. I am mending But for now my job is to heal. For now, I am grateful for He who braved the pain to come to me, to save me, to stand with me, pet me, soothe me, stay with me at my worst, celebrate my healing and participate in my restoration. I am a dog run over, redeemed from the side of the road. I am healing… I am OK. I’ve gotten pretty deep lately, it’s time to lighten things up! This whole “me in The Middle” process has revealed a few things.
It started with my new wardrobe. False; it started with growing up in a family of mostly boys. I grew up tom-boy… but I didn’t know it. Compared to the boys I was girlie and I liked pink very much, but the finer gentle sides of femininity were lost on me. When my kids fell down, I dusted the dirt off and told ‘em to get back out there. Apparently mama’s are supposed to give loves and cuddles and shush the child back to “all better.” Missed the mark there, a little spit to wipe the blood off and they were good! My kids are tough, what can I say?! Also… apparently if a guy is making eyes at you and he’s being prodded by a buddy to come say hi… an appropriate feminine response is to tuck one’s head toward a shoulder in a coy, submissive fashion, whilst batting eyes and flicking hair, as opposed to my opened arm bellow, “I’m right here, yo!” For the record… he didn’t come over but my wing-chick and I did get offered a drink by another nice guy. Then, there’s this inviting men to dinner thing! First of all, this is an evil unspoken rule of the male population and, somehow, though I grew up around men… this knowledge escaped me. The rule goes like this, if a woman invites you to dinner at “her” place… it implies something more than dinner is gonna be cookin!!! Who knew?! I, for one, did not! Then a kind man explained it to me. I thought it a lame rule but… After this unspoken rule was revealed things that didn’t make sense… clicked! I thought back and realized that some of my former male students that I’d had to my house before (when I was married) suddenly couldn’t make it to dinner. Buddies who were otherwise pretty normal got weirded out by the invitation. I didn’t have that issue with any lady students or friends. I realized the rule was a thing!! I was MORTIFIED that I’d been giving that impression. Then it got worse! A close friend “assumed” I was sleeping with a guy. How could that assumption be made about me?! I’ve done my best to make it clear to everyone my choice is to be abstinent right now for myself and for my faith. I don’t want to give that impression, and yet apparently I was. I got mad because I thought it was lame that I couldn’t invite men over to my house for dinner but then I thought about it and realized who I WASN’T inviting for dinner... None of the guys I date ever come for dinner! Ok, well, one did after quite a while and nothing happened, my boys can attest to it. But it made me realize that maybe I also “knew” the rule but only employed it with certain males, I'm still pondering the "why" of that one. So, I'm learning to give more loves and less spit cleans, to bat my eyes instead of challenging a man to ask for my number and to not invite men to my house for dinner! Back to the wardrobe... As my divorce finalized and I entered into The Middle I wanted to define myself in a way that said, “I’m not going to wallow in self-pity any longer!” I asked my girl-friend with amazing style and flair to help me. She graciously accepted, sat down on my oversized couch, patted the cushion beside her, and when I sat, asked what style I was going for. I told her I wanted to look pretty like her, she said she wanted to clarify because I had a sort of tough-girl theme going on with what I wore. We went through my wardrobe and threw out most of the dark colors and stark, straight lines. She took me shopping (a thing I loathe but have decided I need to do at times because minimalist doesn't necessarily equate to cheap). She outfitted me in florals and frills and color and flowy things that made my heart sing. After sporting my new look for a couple weeks I overheard a cubicle conversation, the gist of which was that, yes, I really have come into a more feminine version of myself but… “She still does have boyish tendencies, doesn’t she?” one co-worker joked. They all giggled in their girlish way and I told them in a very un-girlish way that I was right there and could totally hear them… they just laughed louder. I guess, the moral of this little blog post is… you can put me in flowers and pastels but I’ll always be a little boyish and tough. But y’all know you love me... and, anyway, I can still flex in ruffles so there! |
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