Anyone who knows me knows I hate my stomach. After gaining and losing large amounts of weight and having a C-Section delivery for my last pregnancy I am left with a flab. I call it my best friend, because everywhere I go, it goes. I'm not an athlete but I'm pretty fit. I work out regularly and don't go overboard eating (but I do LOVE food and could never be devoted to a low cal/restrictive diet) and yet, it's always there, glaring at me when I look in the mirror.
Truthfully, I've never done a hundred situps a day for more than a week at a time but I don't know if it would change it. It's definitely skin not fat. I fantasize in my mirror about how I would look without my flab, but I wonder, would I, could I ever get a tummy tuck??? The idea of it is appealing but the actual surgery and recovery scare me. The primary reason is my chronic pain. It comes from somewhere in my abdominal wall... I think. The doctors have never pinpointed the pain and I've learned to live with it and stop paying medical professionals to tell me there's not reason for my excruciating pain, but it's there, this nagging intrusion into my normal life. Sometimes it flares up and sometimes I can go a week maybe with no pain. Always, though, I fear when the pain will come again and I avoid certain movements to protect myself from feeling it. I worry if I had a tummy tuck what would happen to the pain? Would it disappear? If I had a guarantee for that, I'd do a tummy tuck as soon as I could save the money for it! I don't have that promise though or a good explanation for the pain, so I worry that the procedure could make it worse. I like the life I have now. I don't want to risk a surgery that is largely for my own vanity that could make the pain worse. And it's not like I'd go around flashing my belly if it looked better anyway. That's not me, I believe in modesty so it would totally be a just for me kind of thing. And yet, I can't get the idea of a flat stomach out of my mind. I would LOVE it. I just don't know.
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I first met Rozy on Instagram. Believerr_gonefit is a fellow CrosSport enthusiast that also loves to post her work-outs. I followed and quickly learned that there was a lot more to her than just a pretty face. She is quite possibly one of the most inspirational people I have seen in real life. Her dedication to her health and fitness are obvious in her before and after pictures. I had to know more and she was awesome enough to indulge me in a lunchtime interview. Rozy's journey to a healthy lifestyle came from a simple desire; a desire for a bigger family. She had never been a petite girl, hovering between 165-175 in high school, but as she grew into adulthood her addiction to foods, particularly salty temptations like potato chips, gradually added pound after pound. By the time she and her husband were ready to have more children she was an “obese, depressed, mom of one” who couldn't get pregnant again. They tried everything and were even beginning infertility treatments when a doctor told her the one thing she didn't want to hear; her weight was a main issue. She could accept that she couldn't get pregnant but had a harder time believing it was really due to her weight. At 270 pounds she was used to being asked if she was pregnant and it only added insult to injury. So with nothing, but the weight to lose she started yo-yo dieting, doing anything and everything to lose the weight. Her efforts were successful and in time she lost 50 pounds and got the news they couldn't wait to hear, she was pregnant! Like her first pregnancy, her second was difficult. She was put on bed rest to try to avoid another premature birth and gained 75 pounds over the term of the pregnancy. She was able to shed the weight quickly and by the time baby number two was seven months old she'd dropped 60 pounds of baby weight and was pregnant again with number three. Once again she was put on bed rest, given hormones and told to take it easy to make the pregnancy as easy as possible. Luckily, she delivered at full term and didn't go back to her old ways. With three children their family was complete and Rozy devoted herself to a new lifestyle. In September of 2012 Rozy started by changing her food and TV choices. She would watch Extreme Makeover – Weight Loss Edition and learn what participants did to get the weight off. She bought Chris Powell's book on carb cycling and started to formulate a lifestyle of healthy eating instead of yo-yo dieting. Now most days include 5-6 small meals every 2-3 hours. Breakfast is her biggest meal usually consisting of eggs, bacon and veggies or sometimes oatmeal. Lunches and dinners are heavy on protein with veggies and good carbs. She tries to avoid breads but if she has it she sticks with grainy breads. Cheese and dairy are luxuries and she treats them as such and uses them sparingly. And in Rozy's world there are no cheat days. She'll allow for a few cheat meals but never days. She says it's much easier for her energy level to bounce back that way. As the weight continued coming off, working out got easier and Rozy started to get more active at both Gold's gym and our common, house of gain, CrosSport in Wenatchee. She regularly does 2-a-days, meaning she gets in not one, but two work-outs each day. She lifts, does WODs, hikes, bikes, and includes the family so it's not just “her” thing but the family's way of life as well. The twinkle in her eye when she mentioned her PR for dead-lift is 235 was priceless! In fact that twinkle came out whenever she talked about meeting and exceeding her goals. She admits she hasn't achieved her goals and is OK with it. She's within 9 pounds of her ideal weight of 145 but there will always be more to achieve and strive for. She says she's always making new goals for herself and challenging herself to be better, stronger and faster than before. That's one of her biggest pieces of advice for others as well, set strong, reachable, long-term goals. Additionally she reminds people that it takes patience and time to achieve life changing goals. Along her own journey she's had lots of ups but also downs, and weight gains, and plateaus. The trick is to keep making progress and to find balance in life… and rewarding yourself every now and then doesn't hurt either, as long as the reward isn't food. Now two and a half years after her lifestyle journey began, Rozy's greatest achievement is her family and her happiness. She doesn't even remember the fat girl she used to be. Her family has been by her side through it all and she is no longer depressed everyday but happy to live well. Thank you Rozy for the inspiration you bring to the gym and everyone around you! It is a blessing to watch you travel the road before you. I can pinpoint my hate affair with my body to a pair of pink pants. Someone gave them to me and implied they may be a little small but were worth a try. They were a women's size14 and were anything but small. As a young teen, it killed me knowing someone thought I might not fit into them. I couldn't see me in the mirror anymore, I saw my fat. I spent the remainder of my teenaged years fighting the bulge I didn't have. I look back and pray for the body I hated. I promise God if He gives it back to me I'll love it like I should have then. I developed a selective case of bulimia. I knew I liked food too much to become anorexic so I chose binging and purging; of course there were several stints I pulled with not eating as well. I remember overhearing a girl say I was too skinny and was sure she must have been talking about someone else. I hovered between 95-115 those years. At my lowest, 95 pounds, and I could still see a muffin top, saddle bags, meaty arms and fat, fat, fat! Then I got knocked up and gained almost a hundred pounds, not once but twice. By the time I was 21 I had ravaged my body with overeating in pregnancy and methamphetamine use when not. My weight had fluctuated from 120 when I first found out I was pregnant to 184 at delivery, down to 140 before the next little guy, then right back up to the 180s. By God's amazing grace I was delivered from drug use in May of 1999 but I was left with more than one mess from that time in my life. Physically, I didn't know normal weight or how to get back to good, or where good even was for my body. I spent my 20s nominally overweight. I admit that before ephedrine was outlawed I bought pills and took up to the daily recommended limit daily (maybe slightly more than the recommended limit if I'm honest – which I don't want to be but probably should be. I still count my clean time at May 1999). Again I think it was a gift of grace that took them off store shelves. Once chemical means of altering my weight were removed I was faced with the reflection in the mirror. Me. My fat. My body. I didn't know what to do, so I did a little exercising (I've always been a highly active person) and counted calories when I felt like it. My weight fluctuated between 130-170 for most of that decade. Then my grampa got sick and I made a point to spend as much time with him as I could. He was the greatest man that I have ever known, and I've know lots of great men. He went home too soon, partly because of poor food and fitness choices through-out his life. I promised him I'd take better care of myself. If my teens were too skinny and 20s too fat, I've dedicated my 30s to honoring that promise. I started walking with friends the month Gramps died and slowly, gradually worked up to running. I found a video yoga program, Outstretched in Worship, and practiced Christian yoga several times a week. I started eating on purpose instead of conveniently or emotionally. Since then I've held steadily between 130 and 140. I did gain 14 pounds when we moved from Western to Central Washington but that weight was shed within 18 months and hasn't returned. I think I'm healthy, I think this is a “good” weight for me … but... I still hate my body! Not a little dislike, I am utterly dissatisfied with it. It's all wrong and lumpy and stretched and broken from decades of abuse. I have 2 more years until I hit the big 40. It is my hope I can get there and finally feel satisfied in my skin. I want to look in the mirror and be able to accept how I look and love it. I believe that means I should still shed another 10-15 pounds and tone my flabby, abs. I regularly run, walk, and participate in a corssfit-like exercises program at my CrosSprot gym. I have largely given up yeasty and white-flower laden products. I am mindful of what I eat and I hope I can find happiness in my own skin...someday soon. Will I? Can I find the magic number on the scale that tells me I'm “there,” will I ever look at myself naked and see a body that I like ever again? Will I ever get rid of this hanging sack of flab in my lower abdomen? I know I won't be perfect but I'd like to stand proud and see a body that shows intentional work and dedication and restoration. Please share your plan or advice or inspirational story with me! I'm open to ALL tips and recommendations that do not include surgery and dietary-supplements at this time. BUT if I hit 40 and am not “there,” then those two options are on the table! |
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